The Religious Experience Of Norris Stearns Written by Divine Command

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE

OF

NORMS STEARNS,

WRITTEN

BY

■♦■*

MUm Command 9

■»<■»*»*■,

Shewing the marvellous dealings of God to his Sou*
and the miraculous manner in which be was <ie.
livered from the Jaw? of Death ant) Hell; and his
soul set at liberty, — Likewise his appointment tr-
ifle Ministry; and Commission from on High,
preach the gospel to every creature.

Greenfield— Printed for the Author } at theHerqld

Office,

1815.

PREFACE.

The public are here presented with a book writ-
ten by an illiterate youth, who has been highly fa-
voured of God, and shown many things, which he
is now commanded to write. He earnestly solicits
the candid attention of every reader, that it may not
stand (as the useless Parenthesis) among the other
boi>ks of the world; for it is written in obedience to
the Divine Command, as a Testimony, to show his
Calling. Care has been taken, that nothing should
be written, but by the immediate command of the
Lord; whose Servant and Prophet I am. I give ac-
count before God, and know that my Testimony U
true: My Father and his Holy Angels bear wit.
ness of it; and the w r ork itself shall manifestly de-
clare it. I am not to be accountable for any man's
unbelief: By declaring the truth, I free myself from
their blood! — St. Paul said he knew a man in Christ
(so mauyyears ago)3iich an one,caught up to the third
Heaven, and in Paradise heard unspeakable words,
which it is not lawful for man to utter. But in this
generation they are to be uttered, for the former
things are passed away. — I travel through this world,
as unknown, yet, well known as poor, yet making
many rich as in want, yet possessing all things.
And though my feet traveree this earthly ball, yet
my soul is walking the golden streets of the Heav-
enly Jerusalem. At present,

No foot of land do I possess,
No cottage in the wilderness,

A poor way-faring mar ;
1 dwell awhile in tents below,
Or gladly wander to and fro,
Till JEgue calls me home.

Norris.

*

THE

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE

OF

NOEBJS STEARNS.

Written by Divine Command, as a Testimony, to shew

Lis ('ailing,

AGREEABLE to account from my pa-
rents, my birth (into this world) took place
Jan. 12th, A. D. 1789. The place of my
nativity is Leyden, Maffachufetts, North A-
xnerica.

My parents were formerly from Connecti-
cut, and defendants of Englifh anceftors.
They moved to Leyden, when the cotintry
was new. There my Father purchafed a
farm, in the (late of nature, where he began
to level the ilurdy oaks, and by his follering
hand, part of this wildernefs foon became a
ferule field, and in a few years, plenty flail-
ed around his habitation. ;

I have three Brothers, and fix Sifters, all
unconverted to God; wading through fur- »
uions, and exhortations, and apparently
preffing their way down to the regions of
Defpair. May the Lord have mercy on ;

5

them, and awake them ere they awake in
Hell ! !—

My Father was once a praying man, and
belonged to the Baptitt Church in Leyden ;
but not hiving faith in ceremonial ordinan-
ce*, and dead forms of religion, he withdrew
from their meetings, and was foon given up
to the bufferings of Satan, that his foul
might be faved in the day of our Lord Je-
fus.

About this time there arofe a fed called
Dorrelites, from one Dorrel their head.
Iheir religion appeared to the world to be
an open door to licentioufnefs.* Thefe my
father joined, which was detrimental to his
earthly property. Under the reftriaions of
thefe people, he was brought out from the
dead works of the law, and freely juftified
by Grace.

I lived in the fociety of my friends, and
under the control of my parents, till I was
eighteen years of age ; during which time I
wrought at plantation work, /ummeh, and
enjoyed the privilege of a fchool education,
winters, for which I am indebted to my
parents. I ever had more of a tafte for
learning than time for improvement, as the
circumftances of my parents were too limit-

*A short, though very imperfect account of them,
may be seen in Hannah Adams' History of the peo-
ple oi Massachusetts. ■

A 2

6

ed to give me a liberal education. I {hall
pafs over my infancy with litiie remark, as
no interesting incident occurred, and begin
where my mind began to be exerciied upon
the works of Deity.

In early youth I was led to the pleafing
fludy of lelf* knowledge, and to furvey the
fields of Nature, where I have pleahngly
fpcnt many hours in contemplating upon the
works of Deity, and in my weakm f> drove
to comprehend the exiftence of a God, till
I became ahnoft loft in thought, wonder, and
admiration ! And becaufe I could not vifibly
fee a fpintuui God, and comprehend his ex-
iitence, I was induced to beli ve, that there
was no God but Nature, and that all
things came by chance ; Or, that it was
the Sun, the great illuminary of the earth,
who, by his influential rays, made his daily
journies through the tracklefs ether to vifit
us from on high. But on h aring fome peo-
ple tell of Apparitions and folemn warnings
of Death., which I had tea/on to belhve 9
I thought there might be a Ipiritual God,
but while reafoning a^ain in myfelf, I was
left in defpair.

I thought if I fhould ever fee any of thefe,
it would be fufficient to convince me that
there was an Almighty Being, felf exiftent,
and independent, the Author and Creator of
all things j and when thus convinced, I

1

thought I would willingly ferve and obey
him. I lay in this Hough of defpond till the
Autumn of ^06, when it pleated the Lord
in the following miraculous manner to make
known his exiltence.

My Comrades and I, on Sundays during
the fununer, had ere&ed a dam acrois a
meandering dream for the purpofe of bath-
ing. Heie we lpent much of our tune,
(which we ought to have devoted to the
£ rvice of our Maker) in finfu! fports, often
torturing infects. I iometimes felt pangs of
keen remorfe but did not think myfelf fa
wicked as fome of my mates who uled pro-
fane language. — But 1 pafs from vhisepiiude
to tell ot wonders. —

One Saturday in November, after I had
borne the fatigues of the day in the fit Id, I
retired to our frcqu* nted place to prepare tor
the Sabbath, as 1 calculated to attend meet-
ing : While walking alone to the place,
gloomy thoughts arofe in my mind, and I
marvelled at my parents* objection* to my
going, as they had never made any before.
The lowering iky was overcaft, and the fun
had almoft hidden itfelf in the weftern fefctft-
ifphere, when I began to inveft myfelf with
my apparel, & turning towards the weft I be-
held one of ftiy companions, upon a hbrfe^
coming down a lane that led near the ppace
whwre 1 was. 1 viewed him with attention

8

for feveral minutes without turning my eyes
from him, and knew him to be mv wicked
comrade, as he was in his ordinary drefs I
marvelled greatly at ids coming,but thought
he had f een me from a certain place, and
flattened hither to inform me of fome pirty
that he wiihed me to attend. I looked at.
tentively at him till he advanced feveral rods
towards me, but he came very how. I then
llipt on my veft in a hurry and thought I
would haften to meet him ; but on looking
a fecond time, behold ! h - had vanifhed ! !
1 naitened with cautious ftcps to the place
where I Jaft faw him ; but him and his horfe
c w , no / more - Neither was there the tracks
of a horfe upon the ground, which gave me
more alarm .' In a perturbation of mind, I
haftened home, and acquainted my friends
with what I had f >en ; but they made light
ot it and faid, " It was my im-jgination "—It
was in vain, they could not perfuade me out
or it, I knew it to be a reality. With a
mind burthened with gloomy reflections, I
retired to my chamber, where I compofed
ml It as much as poffible, and fleep at
length ftole infenfibly upon me.

At the dawn of day I was awakened by a'
noife m the door- yard, which at firft appear-
ed like a few broken ftrokes on a muffl d
drum. On hearing it a fecond time I went
to the window— All was filent ! I had hard.

9

ly compofed myfelf in bed when I heard it
frveral times more, though not fo loud as at
firft ; I went to the window again ; all was
filent, and 1 heard it no more.

Three days had hardly palled before my
comrade (wh'»fe ghoftly image I had feen)
was taken lick with a kver which proved
fatal to him. He was in the agonies cf deep
diftrefs ! and died apparently without repent-
ance ! ! I attended his funeral, and went to
the place of his interment, where the firft
dirt flung upon the coffin made the fame
noife I had heard in the chamber. But all
this was not fufficient to melt the obdurate
heart of a linner ! Nothing but the mighty
power of God under affliction could ever
humble fo vile a wretch ! ! I have wonder-
ed many times why God dealt thus with my
companion, that thefe things (hould happen
to me for reproof, while I was yet a finner,
and deferving death : But it has pleafed the
Lord in this miraculous way to make known
his exiftc nee, and raife me from the flough
of defpond in which I had fallen, that hfo
Name might be glorified. — But Oh ! the in-
gratitude of this hard and wicked heart!
Difobedient, alas ! to the commands of God !
I broke my promife ! joined again with the
wicked ! and continued in the fmful practi-
ces of the world. I otten felt the reproofs

10

of the Lord in my heart, but they were foon
fmothered in the vortex of pleafure.

Thus I lived till July 1807, when I was
violently feized with a burning fever, which
threatened to dry up the relburces of life.
The preying diforder faft waited my flefli ;
my trembling limbs began to fail ; and na-
ture, yielding to the diforder, gave omen of
my approaching diffolution.

On the isth day of my diftrefs, my Mo-
ther came into the room, and after looking
attentively at me for feveral minutes, retired
in filence. Her falling tears befpake the feel-
ings of her heart ! I faw my life was defpair-

ed of I The thought of death or dying

had not before come into my mind This

awakened me . from my ttupidity My

thoughts were no longer dormant -I be-
gan in good earneft to converfe with death
and think of eternity— — My fins were all

fet in array before me They were as a

mountain inacceflible- 1 thought I was a

great ii iner, and if I died as 1 then was,
damned 1 muft be forever ! I was for fome
time in great diftrefs of mind, fearing my
fins were fo great as to feal my damnation
forever. Thus in pain and anguifli I lay
while the " Gates of Hell did compafs me
about." After being for fome time abfurb-
ed in melancholy reflections, it was revealed
to ine that 1 omit die, that the Angel of

11

Death was waiting to do his office, # and at
two o'clock the next day, I mull bid adieu
to all things here below, for my foul would
be required of me.

This became fo rivited in my mind, that,
if I had feen a man, with the bloody inftru-
ir.ent of death in his hand, ready # to ftnke
the fatal blow, and plunge my foul into eter-
nity, it would not have been more real.

Now, O reader ! imagine my feelings
for they furpafled all bounds ot defcnptuin !
Suffice it to fay, 1 think try pain of mind
would equal the ftirg of death ; for the
thoughts of dying were pcrfeft peace in
compaiifon with thofe of plunging into an
endlefs eternity unprepared to meet God I
In the bittern efs of my foul 1 cried, and this
was my lamentation, " Oh that 1 had reli-
gion ! I fhould be willing to die, and could
go rejoicing ; (here religion was placed be-
fore me, and 1 faw it, and knew that it would
take away all flavifh fear of Death and Hell
and give me comtort in a dying hour) but
alas ! I have 'abuied the mercies of God,
and who lhall deliver me from this body of
fin and death ? For now my life is fulperd--
< ed upon a brittle thread, which a few more
hours of time are hafteningtocut, then my
foul muft take its flight into the unknown
world." Here 1 was in great defpair, ai d
durft not pray, knowing that God was juft,
- and juftice cried " Cut bim down" Aud if

i n

I attempted to plead for mercy, fin clouded J
all hope. — At length, as I lay apparently up- ;
on the brink of eternal woe, feeing nothing I
but death before me, luJdenly there came j
a fweet flow of the love of God to my foul,
which gradually incr ifrd. At the fame
time, there appeared a fmall gleam of light
in die room, above the brightnefs of the fun, ,
then at his meridian, which grew brighter:
and brighter : As this light and love increas-
ed, my fins began to feparate, and the
Mountain removed towards the eaft. At
length, bting iw an ecttacy of joy, I turned
to the other fide of the bed, (whether in the \
body or out I cannot tell, God knowe«h)j
there I faw two fpii its. which i knew at thej
firft fight. But if 1 had the tongue of an f
Angel I couid not dclcribe their glory, for \
they brought the joys of heaven with them, ;
One was God, my Maker, almoft in bodily I
fcape like a man. His face was, as it w r ere I
a flame of Fire, and his body, as it had been |
a Pillar and a Cloud. In looking fteadfaftly to [
difcern features, I could fee none, but a fo all \
glirapfe would appear in fome other place. |
Below him Hood Jefus Chrift my Redeemer, *
in perfed fhape like a man— His face was
not a blaze, but had the countenance of :!
fire, being bright and fhining. His Father's j
will appeared to be his ! All was condefcen- \
fion, peace, and love ! i I was filled with the :

ifkted flame, and the glory of God ; 1
thought one fpark more in my foul would
have deftroved this mortal frame ! ! I was
happy ! i ! happy I ! ! happy ! ! ! I wanted
tin thoufand tongues to ling their fweet,
their glorious praife ! ! It was a heaven here
below for the fpace of half an hour ! ! # But
how infinitely ftiort muft I come of deferr-
ing their glory, for want of language to
paint my feelings ! For the joys of Heaven
lb far furpafs all bounds of defcription, or
human conception, that chriftians here be-
low come infinitely fliort of forming a com-
petent idea of the joys that await the right-
eous : " Eye hath not fecn, Ear hath not
heard, neither hath it entered into the heart
t)f man to conceive of thofe good things,theFa-
ther hath prepared for them that love him."

They did not make ufe of words, vocally,
to communicate ideas as we do, for fpirit
communicateth to fpirit without words, and
fo methinks it will be in the day of eternity.
In their countenance were all their words $
^and their converfation was fwecter than an
audible voice. The Father faid,

A " You may go with us, to the invifU
aj ble world, and be happy as many are ;
V but cannot come into our immediate
W prefence, and be fo happy as fome till
vv that mountain of fin is taken awav ;

*This was tlie lime i!i<>j' ivere at tlie beti.

B

14

4* for it muft ever remain in your fight
Q and keep you back ; i for, fays Chrift,
^ (with great pieafantnefs, and a fmile
upon his countenance) you came not un-
to me that it might be removed ; but
/unto you, therefore, your happinefs
cannot be lo great : For you (hould
have come unto me, that your fins might
be forgiven ; then would this Moun-
tain have been taken away that you
might go and be with us/ — 6 But now,
fays the Father, (after a paufe) if you
ftay, and come unto Chrift as you ought ^
before : Humble yourfelf, and afk of \
him that your fins may be forgiven ;
and learn of him for he is meek and
lowly of mind, and will ftiew ycu all
that you muft do ; and are faithful in
doing whatsoever is made known to
you ; then will this mountain be taken
away that you may be with us in our
^ prefence forever." * ^

Being now left to the freedom of my
choice, I hardly knew what to do ; foi^
when I beheld their glory, my foul leaped
to go ; but viewing the mountain of fin,
which was ever to remain in my fight, I con-
cluded in my mind, that I would ftay in the
world, and come unto Chrift that it might
be taken away. I then looked, and behold.

IS

they were almoft imperceptibly taking their
flight ! They went to the foutheaft, amend-
ing up with their faces towards me; but
they did not go, comparatively, fafter than the
fun, being almoft twelve hours in afcenfion.

When they were feveral feet from me, I
faw them in great glory, and almoft con-
cluded to go ; but I recoiled again at the
fight of my fins, and thought I would ftay
in the world : But on looking more atten-
tively at them, and feeing a fmile of com-
placency in their countenance towards me,
I thought if I ftiould then afk of them, they
would forgive my fins, and remove the
mountain, that I might go and be with
them : — Twice it came upon my tongue to
fpeak, but a fenfe of my unworthinefs kept
me back. Had I fpoken the firft time, no
doubt, my fins would have been forgiven,
and I have died, and gone with them, and
now been in heaven, inftead of fojourning in
this unfriendly woiid, But when I was
about to fpeak the fecond time, I fome-
times feared that God would deftroy
mc if I afked fo great things, when he had
been Jo merciful and pointed out a way for
me. I then felt willing to come back to the
world and fuffer, and thought I would be
faithful and do every thing that was requir-
ed of me, that this mountain might be tak-
en awav.
*

16

When they were fome way off, I faw as,
it were two hills or gentle rifes of ground
with a valley between them, I was upon
one, about fix rods from the houfe ^ and
faw them upon the other, at a fmall diftance
with an inviting fmile upon their counte-
nance. Thefe gentle riles gradually increas-
ed : The one they were on feemed to move
with them, and grew in proportion as they
went ; firft into hills, then into mountains,
and when the mountain had become exceed-
ing large, the valley was deep and impaffa-
ble fo that I could not get to them, but muft

return. 1 then thought, if they would

reftore me again to health, and give me
three months to prepare for death, as a fuk
bed was no place, I would do all they had re-
quired, and more by their affiflance, then I
fliould be willing to die and leave this world
that I might go and be with them ; but to
this I received no anfwer, which caufed me l
great anxiety at times.

After this, as I lay upon my bed, I faw I
them flowly afcending up ; and as th*y
went from me, the Light and Love grada- -
ally decreafed in like manner as it had come, .
but more flow. They were in my fight till
about the 12th hour of the light, being then
apparently as high, or higher than the clouds,
the Heavens received them out of my fight.

From this very hour my fever took a.

17

favorable turn and I began to amend : But
this was afcribed to medical aid, by my
friends, who had not feen the glory of God,
I did not relate what had palled at that time,
becaufe of their unbelief, not being able to
defcribe what I had feen or felt.

I faw a gleam of the Light, and felt a
flow of the Love to my foul for three days :
And often fince, while meditating upon the
glorious appearance of my bleflcd Maker
and Redeemer, I have been filled with joy
and gladnefs within, and could feemingly
ajmoft fee them before me.

During the time of their appearance,
which was about twelve hours., I did not
know of any perlon's coming into the room,
though I had never been left fo long before.
But when I came to have a knowledge of
fublunary things, I found I had been loft, ia
the tranfnion, to what had paft, infomuch
that I marvelled at the hidden appearance
of my friends around my bed.

I fall recovered my health, and for a
while was happy in the love of God. I felt
as though- 1 wanted to be with Chriftians
and hear them talk about religion. It Hap-
pened fo, a few days after, that I heard
fome Baptifi Profeffori, but it did not give
me that joy and fatisfaSion I expected ; for
they could not talk lhat fame happy language
I felt ; and I found they had never expert

18

enc* i that love in their fouls. Before this,
i thought all who made a profeffion of reli-
gion, and belonged to a church, were always
h ippy, and prepared to die. But after this,
I it It as though I fliould be alone, and have
no one to go with me. I thought if any of
my Youthful Companions mould fet out in
religion, I would then make an open pro-
fusion and could give them my heart and
my hand to go to heaven with them. But
theft*, alas ! were feeking the pleafures of
the world.

One would not think that a perfon,
whofe mind had been fo illuminated with
heavenly light, and felt fuch extatic joys,
would ever go back into (in. But alas ! I
did not live long in this Paradifical (late be-
fore I grieved the Holy Spirit, and as he
withdrew, my faith became weak, and the
crofs exceeding great, fo that I was unwil-
ling to have my mates know the exercife
of my mind and have it faid I was going to
become religious ; and to avoid their cen-
fure, I joined with them in their juvenility,
and vain amufements, which they called
** innocent recreations. 9 * But it brought fuch
conviction to my mind that it deftroyed my
fcappinefs.

Not long after this, being infenfible of
my debility, I ufed too much exercife which
brought on a reiapfe, stud my pais became

19

very fenfible, both of body and mind. I
thought I had ft) abufed the mercies of the
Lord, and broken my promife, that he
would not fuffer me to live ! Horror and
defpair feized my guilty foul, and if ever
any in this life felt the pains of the damned,
I believe I did ! I was now refolved to come
unto Chrift and feek the falvation of my
foul, come life or death 1 I got a piece of an
old bible and began to read, thinking to find
relief by fearching the fcripture. But my
friends obferving me in this diftrefs, faid,
" Norris, do you think you fhall never get
well ?" Here I perceived their thoughts,
and was afhamcd to have them know that
I was going to become religious : In confu-
fion of mind, 1 flung down the bible and
Went out of the room, filled with horror
and defpair, wretched companions indeed
to foothe my troubles in this diftrefs ! I felt
as though I could retire to fome remote part
of the earth, and in a lonely (hade, fpend
my days in falutary mourning before the
Lord.

After about three, days the Lord was
pleafed to rebuke the diforder, and I began
to amend. But ihocking to relate ! a re-
covery of my health, brought on a fecond
relapfe of my fins f t ftrove to Wear off the
conviclions from my mind, by living in the
pleafures of the world ; but I did not fin fo

20

cheap as before, feeling greater condemns
tion from day to day. I then joined again
with the wicked and went on from, one
fcene of merriment to another, adding fin
to fin, till I felt at torment in my own breaft.
Such was the horror of my mind, that of-
ten when I returned home from parties, I
was afraid to clofe my eyes in fleep, left I

fhould awake in hell before morning !

Thus, amid the tried fcenes of pleafure, I
felt as it were^ the pains of the damned in
my foul; & conference continually accufing
me before the Lord, fo that I had no peace
to my foul, nor happinefs in the things that
were wont to delight me ; forrow became
my companion*-, and grief was not a ftranger
to mjj heart* I felt refolved to leave my
wicked mates and betake myfelf to travel-
ling to fee if my peaceful hours would not
return. Accordingly, in the month called
December, I left my Father's houfe, and fo-
journed awhile among, ftrangers. During
this time, I faw the tender mercies of the
Lord, and his Parental Care over me, (tho 1
difobedient I had been,) for when I. was fick
in the ftreets* without friends or money,
and no one to compaffionate me in my dif-
trefs, I had great confidence in the Lord,
who fent a man to my relief, when nought
but my tears had told my grief to the
world

When I firft faw the man, he was fome
way off, {landing in the door of a mill.
The Spirit laid " 'that man has been fent of
the Lord for your relief foon he came,
and took me to his hofpitable home, whtre
I ftayed till I regained my ftrength, thence
I returned to my father's. But I was yet
unwilling to confecrate myfelf to the Lord
and do his will, fo my joys were ftill con-
taminated by the finful pleafures of the
world; and for the fake of peace, I again
left a father's houfe,* and wandered to and
fro among ftrangers. I took a journey into
the State of New- York ; from thence I went
to Vermont, where I fojourned three years,
and taught fchool winters ; but I found my-
felf very incompetent to the talk, on ac«
count of my learning. Here 1 had great
confolation among the people called Meth-
odifts, and often felt it my duty to devote
my time to the ft n ice of the Lord, and ex-
hort in meeting ; but I was unwilling to
expofe myfelf to public cenfure, fo I went
with my mind burthened. But I had great
confolation in fecret prayer, though the iirft
time I ever attempted it, I looked around
feveral times to lee if the devil was not juft
behind me.

* On the 13th of the month called March, A. 7JL

22

The fummer of 1810, 1 fpent in the north
part of the State of New- York. In return-
ing from thence in the fall, my life was pro-
longed by a great deliverance.

In April, 1811, 1 was admitted a member
of a public Seminary in the town of Mid-
dlebury where I made fome improvement
in learning. Here I often retired from the
bufy and adtive fcenes of the world into
fome lonely place and poured out my wants
before the Lord, and often felt that my
prayer was heard before I arofe. I was as
one alone in the world ; company neither
for the godly, nor yet for the vicious ; and
all the happinefs I enjoyed, was in ranging
the lonely fields in blifsful meditation be-
fore the Lord. One night, while in this

lonely ftate, the fufpirations of a female
reached my heart, which introduced our ac-
quaintance. I then thought I would try to
fettle down in life and make hufbandry my
employment, for this purpofe I took a
journey into the Weftern Country in pur-
fuit of fome place that would welcome my
abode. But the convictions of the Lord fb
followed me, that I could not confine myfelf
to aft in this fphere, and was obliged to a-
bandon the purfuit.

I next thought I would engage in the
mercantile bufinefs, and fee if thele convic-
tions would not wear off. For this purpofe

2$

I returned to a village in the town of Ho*
mer, but I found no immediate employ,
ment, and in my indigent circumftances I
knew not what to do. Several days in filence
paffed away, but nothing new appeared*
At length I felt an impreflion, that, if I
would hire my board,&wait patiently a few
days, fome way would be provided for me.
This impreflion bore with fueh weight up-
on my mind, that I at length obeyed its dic-
tates; and one night, while in my peaceful
flumbers, I was warned in a dream to pre-
pare for a journey, I thought either to Phi-
ladelphia or New York. Accordingly, I
aroie in the morning and put my things in
order, not knowing how I fhould go or
who was going; but while I yet waited, I
wa$ informed that a man was going to fet
out that day, with fome cattle for one of
the above mentioned places. Fully con-
vinced that he needed my afliftance, I fat
out, and my belief was foon reduced to a
certainty by folicitation, and we continued
our journey the fame day.

4&er difpofing of the cattle at.Chcfter,
we went to Newburg, and were to fail from
thence to New York. While we waited
here for a paffage, the captain of a veffel, a
ftranger, often came, and after converfing
with me,fometimes embraced me in his arms,
requefting that 1 would take paffage with

64

turn, to which after many felicitation* I
confented. But this lingular conduft from
a ftranger I could not account for ; 1 feared
it was only a fallacy to anfwer fome diaboU
leal end, then unknown.

We left Newburg July 2d at ftmfet. ^ At
ten in the evening we were driven
a&ore at Weft Point, where we lay all night.
At 6 the next morning, we had a good
breeze and got under way : The veffel was
crowded with paffengers, who, in coftly
fplendor, were going to celebrate the birth-
day of our Nation. My drefs at this time
was ordinary and befpake my poverty ; I
was beneath the notice of all and had no
one to converfe with me (except the captain,
who, in his ufual way, gave omen of his
friendftiip.) But I retained my implicit
confidence in the Lord, and thought, " tho 9
all mcn jhould caji me off, yet would not for*
fake me," for his Grace and Providence had
feemed to attend me on the roar-, and his
Parental Care was ftill over me, fo that 1 did
not want for a confoling friend, or bed of
repofe. I faw the dealings of the Lord eve-
ry thing, and was conftrained to take knowl-
edge that it was ot God.

As we drew near the City, all hands were
called on deck to make compenfation for
their paffage ; but the captain deferred ine
from pay, laying, thlt I was a ftranger in

25

the place, and had better board with him in
the veffel, as he would not alk me fo much
as the reft. I flayed that night, and was
lodged courteoufly, with him, while rich
merchants were turned afide. The next
morning, the captain wiflied to vifit his
family in New-Jerfey, and after fcrewing
out a promife that I would flay, he left us,
expe&ing to fee me at: his return the next
morning \ but his Angular conduct made me
ftill lufpicious of him, and I wiflied to keep
out of his company ; fo, I left New- York
that evening, and laiJed for New-Windfor ;
from thence 1 went to Chefter, where we
had left our horfes.

At the return of the veffel at Newburg, I
went on board, and fobn found myfelf in
* the arms of the captain, who, in much ten-
dernefs, gently rebuked me for coming
away, faying, that I had done very wrong.
He ufed all poffible means to have us tarry
with him that night ; but finding all his en-
treaties vain, he followed after us and re-
quefted that I would go once more to the vef-
fel, which, through inconvenience, I refufed :
Had I gone, or tarried at New-York till his
return, I know not but fomething of the
greateft importance might have taken place ;
for at our parting his tears befpake his feel-
ings and were witnefs of the fincerity of his
frisndfliip. We reached Homer on the 18th

26

of the month called July, where I found my.
felf difappointed of my expe&ed employ-
ment, and often felt it my duty to fan&ify
myfelf to the fervice of the Lord. But I
was yet unwilling to give up all and follow
Chrift.

I next fighed for military honors ; — and
thought if the Lord difappointed in them, I
would then give up to do his will. I fought I
for admittance into the Military Academy
at Weft-Point, but I found the hand of the
Lord was againft me in this ; for difappoint-
ments awaited me on every fide. I now faw
nothing for me but to go forward in the
Name of the Lord. If I tried .to excufe my- j
felf from the work, it brought heavinefc up-
on me. I thought many times, if I knew
there, was nothing after death, and my foul
could then be extinft, I ftiould rather die
than live in this world. But when I gave
up all its finful pleafures, and confented to
do the will of my God, I had peace to my
foul.

I firft went among the Methodifts, in the
town of Homer, and declared the Name of
Jefus, and had great confolation in the Lord.
This was New-Year's-day evening ;* and a
happy New- Year it was to my foul ! I con-
tinued with them in their meetings, until
the iOth of the month called May f then I

~*A. D. JB13.

27

took a journey northward, and fpent the
fummer with my Brother upon the wilds of
Ontario. We lived in a folitary retirement
from the reft of the world. I had great con*
folation in fecret prayer, and dedicated my-
felf to the Lord ; giving over all earthly pur-
fuits. But I was yet without ftrength and
knew not how to fet myfelf about the work j
for the fullnefs of the time had not yet come, and
being te*apted, it was fometimes fuggefted
to my mind, that the Lord had not called
me.

• Thus I fpent the fummer, and in the fall,
few nights previous to my departure for
MalTachufetts, thefe thoughts with fervency
ran through my mind, while in my peaceful
flumbers. " Behold, as it drew towards the
dtrfe of a lowery day, rfty- brotiier and I
were walking acrofs a *ield to a meeting at a
private houfe. On entering a room^we lound
ourfelves among the congregation^ in tile
midft of whom, ftood Lorenzo Bow^with a
* Bible in his hand, preaching the Gofpel un-
to them. A young man and woman, fitting
on a bureau, made much difturbance. The
preacher fpake to them for their folly with-
out effect. I reminded them that we were
in the immediate prefence of Almighty God
and his Holy Angels, and that we ought to
be as folemn as Kternity. A d?ep gloom
for awhile pervaded ! At length, fome arofe?

28

in argumental contention with the preacher !
Soon a fliort intermiffion enfued which bro't
it to the dulk of the evening. The congre-
gation returned to different apartments, and
left Lorenzo fitting alone by a table, and my-
felf in a remote part of the room.

While I was mufing here, the Damfel to
whom I had fpokcn in the meeting, came,
and after flriving to ileal my affections by
her winning gellures, tried to flip a filver
ring on my~finger, but through miftake left
it in my hand, then went away, and turning
about faid, " O heavens ! if I haVt left it
on his finger, I (hall die. 55 After a fliort
paufe flie retired. — I knew not what this
meant, but fuppofed in her folly fhe was try-
ing fome trick. Soon there came a young
widow of; my acquaintance, having >fWc«
of filver with three ovals, the largcji in the
m>3dL\ curioufly decorated with flowers and
running vines. This flie put into my hand,
and fl\ut it up ; telling me to be fure and
keep it, then retired into a room with the
other.

Prefently there came a woman from the
chamber, a ft ranger, to appearance about
thirt y years old of tall ftature, and a coun-
tenance which befpake that fenfibility of heart
1 had not feen in the others. She brought a
Gold Watch, which I might have, if I would
not fuffer my heart to be enfnared by the

29

folly of the two firft. For thefe fhe faid
were trying tricks, and if they could only
enfnare my heart by their folly> they would
then have full power over me, and would
even lead me into trouble. I came, faid (he,
not to entice you by the Watch ; but to tell
you of the danger, that you might efcape
trouble, and live in peace, if you would for-
fake them and hearken unto me. This I
thought I would do ; not for the fake of the
' Watch, but becaufe of the ferenity of her
countenance, feeling that there was fafety ia
her prefence. Her looks indicated Wifdom,
and this I think was her name, every feature
depifted it ; all her ways are pleafantnefe,
and her paths are peace.*

After (he had retired, and the others with
tjw&e taken back their feeding pledges, I

# These I have construed in the following manner*
— Feeling the warmth of passion so sensibly lor Ihd
first, I conceive it to the pleasing follies of youth
and pleasures of the world, which are alluring to sin,
f0 , and will lead us into pain and misery.

The widow, with the three Ovals of Silver, I con-
ceive to be the world, with the riches and honor
thereof. After the flower of youth begins to fade,
they powerfully attract and steal the affections of ;he
heart,and will lead us into pain and irretrievable ruin.

The woman with the Watch I conceive to be wis-
dom in guarding against these, lest in my weakness
I should give way to temptation, and suffer my heart
to be ensnared by the folly of youth, or love of the
World, and thereby heap endless trouble upon myself.

C2

39

feated myfelf at the table with Lorenzo,
who was reading the bible, and told him I
had long had an anxiety to fee him, as I had
been reading fome of his books, and had
one then in my poffeflion, called his " Opin-
pn" He faid it was a good book and its
'writings dictated by the Holy Spirit. A num-
ber he faid had made application to travel
with him in connexion, but if I was a mind,
he would take me in ; and if I would go to
Philadelphia I might receive my Appoint-
ment and be under pay. I told him I had
calculated to go to Maffachufetts and take a
fchool for three months- Well, faid he, when
you are on your journey, it will be but a lit.
tie further, to gp round by Philadelphia, and
then if you, receive your Appointment you
will be under pay and can keep fchool too ;
orwillh^s a time that you can ftudyifyou
are a mind, or go where you pleafe ; but at
#he end of fix months,or a little before, you
mud return, for then you will receive your
Commiffion, and muft go where you are
fent." After an acquiefcence to what he had
iaid, I awoke, but this fingular dream hath
made a lading impreflion on my mind.

November 4th I took my journey for Maf-
fachufetts and thought I would live in fome
fociety where I could enjoy the privilege of
ev«ning meetings. But as I had been long
al^ent, my parents wiflaed me to fpend the

winter with them, and inftruft the youth of
that place, who were very licentious. I often
retired to the woods for fecret prayer (un-
der pretence of hunting) and confulted the
will of my God ; and when I found that
duty called upon me to ftay, I made this
complaint to the Lord, that, I ftiould have
no chriftian friend to converfe with, or houfe
for prayer, but my truft was ft ill in God. — I
found a few people called Methodifts, in a
remote part of the town, where I attended:
meetings, but never felt it my duty to come
under their difcipline, being always ftri&ly
forbidden by the teachings of the Holy Spir-
it, for all that God hath cleanfed, are clean
indeed ; and thofe that receive the Spirit of
Adoptkmy are all Children of the Moft High.
Nutwithftanding I had been called upon by
the Spirit, and dedicated my
will of my God, yet I was fometimes tempt-
ed, and doubted of my Calling ; and for full
confirmation, I a&ed the Lord for a iign,
that if he had called me, he would convert
fome in the neighborhood. I prayed at firft
for three, but afterwards thought if the
Lord would convert one in this barren place,
and increafe my impreffions,I would take it
in anfwer to prayer, Several weeks in fi-
le nee palTed away, but nothing new appear-
ed. 1 attended conftantly to fecret prayer,
and could but admire to fee that every need-
ful thing I a&ed, though in little of faith*

32

was granted. The Spirit of the Lord mov.
ed with power upon the hearts of fome", and
three were ftirred up to feck the falvation of
their fouls. A door was opened for preach-
ing, and a hnufe for prayer, and good I truft
was done in the Name of the Lord.

April 7th, A D. 1814, was a day appoint-
ed for public fatting, humiliation, and pray,
er, throughout the State My mind for
feveral days previous had been much exer-
cifed to know whether it would be a duty
to abftain from food while my foul was hap-
py in God. I tried to feel it as fuch, but it
did not appear to be a duty. The night
preceding I had an anxious defire that it
might be made known in a dream, but in

the morning I awoke in the fame diftrefs.

Prefently, as I Jay upon tie bed, I was carri*
ed away Una* Vifioti, and faw St. Paul, who
fhowed me in a parable that the faft was not
for me, not thofe who were happy in the
love of God ; but thofe that were in trouble
and diftrefs, even Nature called upon fuch to
fait. The Ap >ftle unfolded lome d<? ;p myf-
teries, but the Lord has been pleafed to feal
them, left they mould be made public.

April 20th I vifi ed my Brother in Ellif-
burg, near Sackett's Harbor, expefting to
fpend the fummer in that place. But being
moved upon by the pirit I fat out upon a
journey of pilgrimage without any Creden-
tials, following the impulfe of the Spirit. !

S3

did not enter on my miffion until the fourth
day (it being Sunday) then I fpoke in a
meeting:, and was received with a cordial
welcome. But I found I could not hold
meetings,as I belonged to no church or focie-
ty, for people would think I was an impor-
ter.

The next day, May the 9th, I went to
Utica to get a bible, but finding fome pock-
et Teftaments, the firft I had ever feen, I
took one of thefe and went on. After I had
travelled feyeral miles, I drew towards a
houfe, where I faw a colledion of people,
and went in. Here was a Woman, laboring
in the Gofpel; (be -wad trying to pull down
the feparating walls which hinder profeflbrs
from running together in Love and fweet
heavenly union : After meeting I gave ex*
hortation and went on. The next say- 1 fell
in company with a minifter that was- there j
he held a meeting in the evening, alter fer*
mon I gave an exhortation, and one the
brethren took me to his houfe. — -—Three
days after, as I journeyed along in deep
meditation, I came into another road and
knew not where to go, as I could not hold
meetings. But I ftill felt that Neceflity was
laid unto me, and woe was me if I went not.
Then I cried unto my God, that if he had
lent me, he would tell me where to go, for
I had been travelling thefe many days and
could not hold meetings.

OA

( Then the Spirit of the Lord hid untojf
r e »" Gf) ^ Truxton, to your" friend' s%
/houfe, and warn him and the inhabit./
kants of that Hill and of the Hills rounds
joout where they have not the gofpel)
( preached unto them," intimating that itf
Ifcfhould be made known when I was there.**

J l said, Lord, who will believe? Who will know /
that thou hast sent me ? People will call me ar/f
;mpostor, for 1 have been travelling these ma %
ay days, and could not hold meetings, and thou /
wouldst not have me join any church or Socie f

,y »ml sro according to their discipline '

Write, fays the Lord, the things* that
have been done for you, as a TejlimonyX
jthat the world may know that I have
fent you : And if any believe, it is well ;/
|and if any believe not, then have yauft,
/done your duty intimating that they 7
* muft anfwer before him. As I ftartedf
Son my journey, the Spirit faid, " Now ^
/ have you been to Philadelphia : It has/
tot been but a little way as you dreamed. jf
)Now have you got your Commffion as
i Dow told you, (citing me to the Tefta-j
Xment in my hand.) And now you muft
^.go where you are lent."

1 i«e things aliuued to were turee supernatural
things, viz. the apparition, their glorious appearance,
and what was then taking place. With a mention of
others that were nfcessary to elucidate them and
shew the dealings of God to my soul.

tTbis was to Utica, four miles out of my way.

35

I went along a little further, meditating upon what
had passed, and thought 1 would open my Com-
mission to see what the first command for me would
be It was in the last Chapter of St. Mark's Gospel,
where Christ appeared unto his disciples, after his res ■
urrection, and upbraided them with their unbelief. I
was melted into tenderness, and even wept at the hard-
ness of their hearts, and thought, if I had been there,
O! how i would have believed! When 1 came to these
words where he said, "Go ye into all the world, and
preach the Gospel to every creature," it struck me to the
*f very heart, as a Command fresh from heaven to me. I
read it over the second time, and the other verses as
1 now write them, though I since ioid they are not so
in the book. — The command n as — 'Go ye into all the
world, and preach the Gospel to every creature,

1 0, He that belicvcth and is baptized shall be saved ;
but he that belieneth not shall be damned.

17. And these sums shall follow them that believe : In
m&Mme shall they cast out devils ; they shall speak
with new tongues ;

1 8 Tltey shall take up serpents ; and if they drink any
deadly pofeon, it shall not hurt them ; thty shall lay
hands 9{i the sick, and they shall recover.

19. And behold, if you have a message from God to
any, and thty die, and you deliver not your messa^e^
their blood mill J require at your hand ;

20. But behold if you deliver your message, and they
receive it not, but die in Iheir sins, their own blood will
be found upon their g arments.

21. So having said this, he ascended up into Heaven,
and sat upon the rii(hl hand of God.^

The 19th and 20th verses which are here written,
I did then actually see, and read, in the book, which
is the New Testament. But I cannot since find them
there, but the Spirit did place them in letter and print
before me. Wttlu? Ihese with power were running
thro' my mind, I ?n\v a man (whether real or mental I
~~ cannot say) with r lark spotted and dirty coat on,
with s^pots of blood »n the folds. After this, fear came
upon me, & I hastened on my journey that I might do
the will of my God, ai\d warn the people ere they di e.

APPENDIX.

Having now finished the testimony which the Lord
God commanded me to write, I invite all to read it with
candor and attcnt n, and hope they will not despise him
that God hath called: a feeble instrument in his hand
to bring about his noble purpose. I have written as otic
m the immediate presence of the Lord, wider the
guide and injlucncc of the Holy Spirit I had calculated
to have written all that had passed till the time of my
second Birth, or Birth into the kingdom, (on the morn-
ing of the Oth of the month called February, A. D.
IS 15,) which would shew the entire regeneration of
man ; but at present I am only permitted to send this,
AS a Testimony, into the world, which is hut an in-
froduclion to a greater work tJiat will soon be manifest;
far the Angel that has the Everlasting Gostel to
preach is coming Jn the flesh to do his work. For this
purpose one is f$f<ed from concealment to utter his
voice i for the necessary preparation of the coming <of
Chfisf, andlhe. ushering in of tliat glorious day. By
permission of the Lord God, whose Servant and Proph-
et I I inform the people that part of the 1 4th Chap-
ter of Revelatioti is now fulfilling : and that the Lord
has already began to deliver rns people ; and to pun-
ish disobedience to the blessed Gospel of Truth, by
spreading desolation over the earth, reducing €itks, m and
casting down Thrones to a level with the ground Woe
unto the inhabitants ly reason of the judgments to corn*.
Fear Go** and give glory unto him that your souls may
abide th£ day oj his wrath.

What remains will be written in a second book wi'h
*ihe revelations of th? Lord. A copy of this is free Jbr
any wlw wish to republish and spread it thrav%h- •

. ike earth. NOI1RIS STEARNS.

A servant (f the luing God,